Chapter One
Figure 1 – Babajide Blunt’s Story about asking a babe out
I was asking someone out one time and her greenlight was confusing me. She neither said yes nor no but I already met another lovable babe at one event in Habour Point.
— Bàbájídé B𝗹𝘂𝗻𝘁 (@CRawkeen) April 29, 2025
Even though I liked the Harbour point babe too, the first babe was more of my type of woman. But after some…
Figure 2 – @Ajebo Writer’s story about Ada
My neighbour’s 7 year old daughter comes to my house almost every weekend to finish my snacks but I enjoy the company
— Kingdavid C. Ofunne (@AjeboWriter) December 3, 2024
Once she comes, she commands that I put Moana or Frozen for her on the Tv & I obey then she sits on my couch (doesn’t say a word) watches tv until she leaves…
Figure 3 – @Ajebo Writer’s story about trans fellow
I’ll never forget the day my uncle and his family moved back to Nigeria after almost 16 years in the U.S.
— Kingdavid C. Ofunne (@AjeboWriter) April 29, 2025
To mark their return, he threw a big welcome party. He said he wanted his kids to reconnect with their roots—“Make dem sabi where dem from,” he said proudly…
Figure 4 – @AjeboWriter’s story about “The Beautiful Jewel”
My father is almost 60 years old. It’s just the two of us now—my mom passed away nearly 10 years ago. Actually, it’s just me. I’m the youngest of five. 3 girls and 2 boys
— Kingdavid C. Ofunne (@AjeboWriter) April 27, 2025
After my mom kpai, my siblings stopped visiting & stopped calling. They wanted nothing to do with our father
Figure 5 – @AjeboWriter’s story about how he tamed his wife
This Easter, my good old friend from uni paid us a visit. We’ve been tight since the days of blackberry and pinging. That’s how far back our friendship is.
— Kingdavid C. Ofunne (@AjeboWriter) April 22, 2025
He’s married now, but his wife and kids traveled for the holiday, so I invited him over. My wife and I planned to host him.
Figure 6 – @AjeboWriter’s story about his barber, ex to his girlfriend
My barber wants to kill me
— Kingdavid C. Ofunne (@AjeboWriter) April 21, 2025
I moved to this new place
They have just one barber and he’s good
The first time I went there to cut my hair, he finished work
I didn’t recognize myself again. I looked ten years younger and dangerously cute…
Figure 7: @Ajebowriter’s wife has a spat with her friend
My wife returned from her weekend friend's hangout with an attitude
— Kingdavid C. Ofunne (@AjeboWriter) October 18, 2025
As soon as I opened the gate, she drove in hard, almost knocking me down. I knew something was off immediately.
When we got inside, she sat me down and told me she was no longer friends with Lucy, her bestie…
Figure 8: AjeboWriter and his mother-in-law
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW IS A WITCH
— Kingdavid C. Ofunne (@AjeboWriter) October 31, 2025
My wife comes from a very traditional family, so I wasn’t shocked when my mother-in-law casually asked when we’d be circumcising our newborn daughter
I expected my wife to immediately reject such diabolical idea…
Figure 9: Ajebowriter cheats on his girlfriend
(Inspired by a true story)
— Kingdavid C. Ofunne (@AjeboWriter) October 30, 2025
I loved her. God knows I did.
She was everything I ever prayed for in a woman. She never argued, never nagged, never questioned my movements. The kind of woman that made me want to do better.
I made sure she never lacked anything…
Figure 10: Sexual grind on a motorcycle
It started like every other Lagos morning, busy, noisy and crowded. It was 7:am and the bus-stop was filled with hundreds of people going to school, work, even market.
— Kingdavid C. Ofunne (@AjeboWriter) November 3, 2025
I had a meeting by 8:am, and I cursed myself for inviting Sola over thinking she would allow me knack…
Figure 11: God’s Chosen writes about intertribal marriage in Nigeria
I am from Enugu state but I got married to a woman from Ondo state. We met and fell in love at work and got married after three years. At first, it was hard for our families to come to terms with our union. My wife has tribal marks which she absolutely despises. I still think she…
— God’s Chosen (@tweetsbyJoy) May 7, 2025
Figure 12: God’s Chosen writes about an affair with secretary
I was secretly having an affair with my secretary. When my wife was getting suspicious I denied it. But then she showed me proof. And I couldn't believe who she got it from. I have been living a double life, and I thought I was good at it.
— God’s Chosen (@tweetsbyJoy) May 9, 2025
Figure 13: God’s Chosen collates stories of people talking about their cheating exes
People were asked “How did you find out your ex was cheating on you?” Their replies is weird asf 😳
— God’s Chosen (@tweetsbyJoy) May 10, 2025
A Thread 🧵 pic.twitter.com/6qpPf8avQg
Figure 14: God’s Chosen writes about cheating with wife’s best friend
I slept with my wife's best friend, Lucy. I think the universe has created the best scenario for me. I love my wife, but I'm not dumb enough to say no to a hottie. She got divorced over two years ago. My wife has been asking me to help Lucy put drywall in her garage so she can…
— God’s Chosen (@tweetsbyJoy) May 8, 2025
Figure 15: God’s Chosen writers about sexual experiences with girlfriend
My girlfriend and I had our first 3svvme and it has really been an eye opener. Let me get right into it my girlfriend Amanda and I about a month ago went interstate to a pop culture convention. She recently has dropped quite a bit of weight and whilst I never expected this am…
— God’s Chosen (@tweetsbyJoy) May 8, 2025
Diary Entry: November 29, 2015. pic.twitter.com/qFKhSOtGAe
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) August 27, 2020
I'm going to be 40 next year, and when I was 30, someone told me being clingy would pass with age.
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) December 1, 2022
Ara adugboooo It has not passed o. I still want 20 kisses a day, a hug every time I can get it, and to gum body when I’m not working.
I love it. Hopefully, he doesn’t mind too. 😊
Don’t let the agenda agend. Support a woman today and also ask for help when you need it. We are here for you. ❤️❤️❤️
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) February 18, 2025
My skin is powered by @danglifestyle_ pic.twitter.com/nNHtSb2mtJ
While studying the Bible together, Mr Flower man mispronounced a word. I almost had a brain aneurism from trying to stop myself from correcting him. Let my brain not go and explode, I blurted out the correction. 😂😂😂
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) March 5, 2024
I need epp. 😂 Why couldn’t I wait till after my prayers?…
I have felt heartbreak so painful, I could swear my heart had an everlasting crack. If I don't know anything, I know this FOR SURE: People heal from the most unbearable heartache.
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) May 21, 2023
Please allow yourself to feel all the pain. I promise, your pain isn't everlasting.
You will heal.
You can DEEPLY love more than one person in a lifetime. Your last heartbreak isn’t an end to your magical future.
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) February 25, 2021
So as you feel all the hurt and heaviness, look in the mirror and tell yourself, “This isn’t the end of my magic, more goodness awaits me.”
You’ll be alright.
❤️
Two kinds of women when it comes to heartbreak:
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) February 12, 2019
1. The one who continues to thrive in her career and other aspects of her life even when she’s suffering from a heartbreak.
Not that this woman isn’t emotional, she just knows how to compartmentalise. She takes a while to heal.
Today, I choose to let the anxiety go.
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) January 9, 2019
I will henceforth choose utter happiness. I will feel all that I feel and be positive. I will step in 100% and let my heart feel joy.
Heartbreak is not terminal. So, I will live and I will love and I will not be afraid.
I DESERVE IT.
One of my greatest mess ups was getting engaged to someone I didn’t love because I had clocked 30yrs. When the engagement broke off, I beat myself up for allowing society dictate to me how to live my life.
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) February 21, 2020
Today, my therapist asked me to write down exactly how I feel about my break-up. I spent 15 minutes writing and cancelling. I told him, “I can’t get there, I can’t find the true words to express how I feel.”
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) January 11, 2022
He said, “Yes, I see that. Take a piece of paper, draw your feelings.”
Something about me you don’t know, I suffer from ADHD.
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) November 15, 2023
When I set my sights on something, I relentlessly pursue it, but the truth is, it requires the mental fortitude of ten people for me to achieve it.
Forgetting easily and getting quickly distracted is a constant battle for…
I feel so bad that I can’t help every woman going through domestic violence/ emotional abuse. Especially those who have no income and have nowhere to go. I’m doing my best but it feels like nothing when I hear of domestic violence that leads to the death of an amazing woman.
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) June 22, 2020
#Flashbackfriday to November 16, 2016.
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) June 25, 2021
Yesterday, as I turned into my street, I noticed a truck had taken up space on the road and my car would almost have to squeeze beside it to get to my house.
As we tried to manoeuvre our way without brushing my car with the truck,
Swipe: Domestic vi0lence is perpetrated by both genders. It is not love, it is abuse. I’ve told him what I think he should do, over to y’all.#DearDANG pic.twitter.com/bvCWfIJ5c1
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) June 2, 2023
Read this guys. Everyone must speak up when abused. I told this man to choose his peace now and forevermore. pic.twitter.com/xFZLBODgQd
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) May 8, 2022
I feel so bad that I can’t help every woman going through domestic violence/ emotional abuse. Especially those who have no income and have nowhere to go. I’m doing my best but it feels like nothing when I hear of domestic violence that leads to the death of an amazing woman.
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) June 22, 2020
A DANG MAN sent this in. Please read and learn.#deardang pic.twitter.com/3cx1B1lce3
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) September 28, 2022
There’s a reason I’ve preached against domestic violence for a long time because it really matters to me. Today, I want to address EVERY woman who’s following me and is justifying the extreme verbal abuse going on big brother Nigeria now. It seems to me it is acceptable for women
— Ìfẹ́ (@diaryofa9jagirl) April 18, 2018
I am writing a story and it tells of how you didn’t like me.
— 🇳🇬African-child🕊️🤍 (@_omo_nickS) May 18, 2025
Even now- as I try to write about a piece of it, I am nervous- my heart runs a million beats per second, my palms sweaty and my hands are shaky, because I never told our story seriously out loud before to anyone. https://t.co/V3kR8bHbQS
And as I lay here on this bed- in a better state of mind than I was when I first found you out to be a cheat, a terrible cheat at that, the thought still strikes me that I was a fool, a fool for forgiving you 3 times when I should have bailed the first time with my aching heart.
— 🇳🇬African-child🕊️🤍 (@_omo_nickS) May 18, 2025
I think it was your beauty, maybe it was the size of that ass on that petite body, but you were a horrible cheat and yes I enabled you and emboldened you when I didn't leave the first time.
— 🇳🇬African-child🕊️🤍 (@_omo_nickS) May 18, 2025
I remember the Facebook messages popping up on my phone and it was your conversations
There's heartbreak and there's being unable to enter into your apartment on a sunny day and IBEDC sees it as the right situation to bring light, which is unlike them.
— Breather of Seas (@AnikeBeloved__) May 18, 2025
Day 27 of posting Nigerian Books on the timeline #NigerianLiterature https://t.co/ePkiFNUGkw pic.twitter.com/pNCtmwNGik
— Emmy & his books (@NnamNnaemeka) May 31, 2023
Did you know birth control is free in Lagos health centres?
— Ameenat A. Adebadejo (@ameenaadebadejo) May 28, 2025
I can confirm that it is free in Lagos Island Primary Health Centre. Idk about other states.
If you've been considering getting birth control, do your research and approach the nearest health centre near you.
I have just finished reading my first book of the year which is Runnin' no more by @TheGTDipe and I have a lot to say. Trust me, this book made me feel things. 🤭 It's one beautiful romance book that will make you crave for love. Walk with me.
— Bookish Ezioma (@EziomaKalu) January 1, 2025
A thread 🧵 pic.twitter.com/cLQOKhU8XM